Another Wednesday Morning

I can't think of what to write, because right now I have about two days a week to myself. So, I'm writing now of my day to day routine.

The first thing I do everyday is come home from work. From there I stay up another two to four hours. I get to bed around 3 a.m. I wake up at 1 p.m. I go to work at 4:30 p.m.

On weekends Jared and I go on dates. We don't see each other when we're conscious on weekdays, so we try to make the most of the time we do have together. Even though most of my time is built around going through the motions, I feel like this experience is going to make us appreciate each other more when our lives become more stable.

Jared really dislikes how little free time we have, and how quickly the weeks move past and in such a blur. But, I like it. Every week at work feels like a day at school. We get closer to moving to Minneapolis and closing this chapter in our lives. It's exciting, and I'm not anxious. I just smile and look forward to tomorrow.

I try to convey how excited I am about moving and about the adventures we'll have together. But, whatever I say will always come up short of how excited I feel. Speaking of excited, I have some brownies in the oven. I'm all smiles tonight.

One Week At a Time

A friend of mine once reminded me that I do not having a spending problem; I'm just poor.

I disagree with this statement, in that I feel like I have a shopping problem. The main problem is that I don't have the money for what I buy if I buy anything at all. I have been combating my problem by not spending. I chopped all my cards in half and paid off all my bills with a small loan from my bank. This way my interest is much lower, and I can see exactly what I owe. So far it's been really great and really easy. All I have to do is ask myself if I really need that --- whatever I'm lusting after, and the answer is always no. There is nothing I need that I don't already have. For that I am lucky. My bills are low right now, and I've paid off the majority of my debt (excluding school loans, but who cares; the interest on that is outrageously low).

But, alas, if everything was golden, then I wouldn't be posting now would I?

This weekend was a huge slip-up on my part. I made four purchases. I also ate at not one... but three restaurants. (Jared did pay for one.) I could do an itemized list ... but who needs that. Either way, admission of guilt entered.

Off topic note: I'm watching the edited version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; without the cussing and sexual references, this movie makes even less sense.

This week Jared, and I made two dishes for dinners and lunches. We made Jambalaya in the slow cooker and Ratatouille in the oven. We subbed carrots for celery in the Jambalaya and served that over white rice. We added two yellow squash to the Ratatouille and served that over brown rice. Before throwing all the veggies in a pan, Jared cooked the eggplant in garlic and oil, then cooked the onions in the oil left in the pan. Overall, both dishes were a success. I liked the Jambalaya more, but I have a thing for southern food.

This week I don't have lunch Tuesday through Friday, because I'm training for a new skill. I've decided to bring Texas Caviar and Fritos for a light snack. I will be making Artichoke Spinach Lasagna and Pot Roast (with some kind of Jared-approved starch) for our dinners and lunches. I find that making meals far ahead of time helps us not eat out as often. This practice is healthier and less costly. Also, by having one meatless meal a week, one can drop a few pounds.

I was reminded on Friday by a coworker that reheating and storing food in plastic has been linked to cancer. I believe my next home purchase will be a set of glass or ceramic heat up dishes.

I'm considering thowing out all of our plastic containers. Jared might be able to talk me out of this. We'll see.

Woah It's Cold

It's a little late, and as friends, colleagues and a certain faculty member of UW-Platteville might tell you... when it gets late, I tend to get a different perspective.

And, I need to say that tonight I am worried. Over the past few days I have been sleeping in until 1:00 pm after going to bed between 2:00 am and 3:00 am. That's ten or more hours a night. I'm worried, because --- given my history of depression --- sleeping this late can mean that I'm in for a spell of the winter blues, or I have a cold. I know what the Seasonal Affective Disorder feels like, and I haven't had a cold that has lasted this long before. I'm going to make an educated guess that this is a taste of the former. It's like I get a full on welcome to winter: my fingers shrink, my legs and arms dry out, my nose wants to fall off due to itchiness or temperature, and my brain's usual Paul McCartney/John Lennon theme song turns into Everclear complaint-rock.

I have a three part plan on how to get this thing nipped in the bud far before I start sleeping 20 hours a day and missing out of my life again.

Part 1:

Take 5HTP every day. It worked last year; fingers crossed it will work again.

Part 2:

Work out at least five times a week. Exercise got me through Junior year's near constant snowfall as well as the horrible drama.

Part 3:

Try to get some sunlight everyday. Hopefully, when it gets colder I'll still feel this is necessary. Either way, as the great Michael Lee Aday once said, "Two out of three ain't bad."

As I sit here, cross-legged on a couch older than myself, I pull the hood of my sweatshirt tight allowing just enough space to view my netbook screen. I ponder the greatest mysteries of life: what would a nose warmer look like? And, why hasn't anyone capitalized on this yet?

Sometimes You Don't Need a Roller-coaster

Last Monday my work began a program called "Get Yourself Moving" or G.Y.M. this program really inspired me to well... get myself moving! I started the program at 2 AM that morning. I figured I was awake anyways so I might as well! Plus, I was so far into my second wind that I couldn't get to sleep. First, I tried my usual work out to Hip Hop Abs. This workout just plain kills my feet and knees. I did a little online research, and despite the generous endorsement by Ellen Degeneres, Hip Hop Abs barely squeaks out three out of a possible five star rating on Amazon.com. Oh no, no, this will not do. After a half hour of digging and reading through reviews, I stumbled across a workout by Jillian Michaels called "30 Day Shred." The tape claims to help you shed 20 lbs in a month. I don't know about that, but it defines my goal in weight loss. Being 130 lbs again would be a-mazing.

Today is day six of the workout. (I took a day off on Friday after a brutal get-the-house-clean-in-two-hours workout via Jared's Mom coming to town.) I can make it through the workout now without a break. This workout is much much easier on my joints, but I still can't finish it wearing my new insoles. So, I push through it barefoot. The only real problem I have is with the lunges; my Achilles tightens up, and I have to shake out my back leg half way through the combination move. Either way, these are my results: My measurements before beginning the regimen were hips 41" and waist 32". Right now, seven days into level one of the 30 Day Shred, are ... drum roll please... hips 39.5" and 30.5". I haven't kept track of legs, arms and chest. (If I drop a bra size, I will be p-oed.) Waist and hips alone I've lost 3" in seven days. Freak. Out.

Otherwise, my parents might be moving back to Wisconsin. Which blows my mind. I don't understand how two people on no income can make such expensive decisions with little preparation. Although, I do understand that with a lack of preparation, people can be forced to make rash decisions. Either way, I'm keeping my head out of it. They are adults and haven't been in my life for years. I sometimes see them at holidays, and I send birthday cards. But, I also send birthday cards to my best friend from middle school... and I actually talk to her more often. I know my mom reads this, but whatever. This is going to make some awkward dinner conversation, so what. I thought moving to Wisconsin was a ridiculous, unnecessarily costly and untimely move. This is not hind sight; I told them this when I was 16. I thought moving to Colorado was a ridiculous, unnecessarily costly attempt to run from their bruised pride. This is not hind sight. I think moving back to Wisconsin is a pretty rash attempt for a do over, but it too will go bad, and Mom will end up regretting it. She hates the cold. This is a fact. You cannot ignore fact. My idea to move to Alabama to move near her family is brushed aside like I'm too young to understand whatever blahblah. I do understand that blood is thicker than water, and time heals all wounds, and that cliches become cliches because they're truth. In conclusion to this rant, Mama, move near someone you share DNA with. They'll always feel obligated to take care of you. No matter how much you piss them off and vice-versa. And, please don't misunderstand this as a plea to have you move around with me as I stake out my life. When I was growing up, I was your obligation, and you did what you could to make it seem like a choice to continue to take care of me. But, we both know that when you and Dad split, having a 4-year-old kind of sucked.

On a lighter note (not really, actually this is more pressing and more depressing), my Grammy is in the hospital. I'm really worried about her. I haven't seen her in a very long time, and I wonder if she has good memories of me like I have of her. I put together some photos of myself (and Ciera and Jared) over the last year. I even bought a card. Please, send a shout out to whatever god you believe in to give my Grammy strength to make it through this. Me, I'm just going to hope. Hope is a powerful thing.

Normal Is Getting Later

Dear World,

I'd like to open by saying that I am as of right now exhausted. I have no idea why I can't sleep, but hopefully my own thoughts will be dull enough to lull me into submission.

Yesterday night, at about this time, I made the decision to stop spending money I don't have. I paid off my two store cards with my bank loan and cut my cards into pieces. Being able to see exactly how much I owe is the first step to understanding precisely how bad off I am. Also, the interest rate is much lower, and I'll be able to track how much I'm spending. Jared once told me his secret to never purchasing anything he didn't need to survive: He convinces himself that eventually whatever it is will go down in price. And then if it does, he convinces himself it will again. He's a frugal man. I just figure I should buy what I like because if I like it that much I won't tire of it. The problem is that I like a lot of things, and I don't wear out my clothing or shoes. I've also been the same pant, shoe and shirt size for almost a decade. Admittedly, I'm not the same weight, but where I have filled out hasn't effected my dress size too much (with the exception of that time I got really sick and really skinny Senior year of high school). I've amassed a hideous amount of junk. I can't eBay it off or give it away enough to bring down the piles of stuff laying in the closet. Worst of all I like all of it. Not in the hoarder way of being like "But my stuff..." but in a way that I wear all of it (when it's not being sold, stored or donated) and it's in good condition. Actually, if it's not in good condition it has already left the house. I don't wear anything with a stain... it's all I can focus on if I wear it.

Secondly, switching to the night shift has been awesome. Awesome. I get to operate on my pseudo-normal summer schedule of staying up past 3 am and waking up to the noon drill. Then, I have four hours to throw myself together and pack a lunch. All of which I do completely awake instead of in a half stupor. Best of all I get to carpool with Adam and Jennifer to and from work sometimes. This means I get to work on time, and Jared can sleep a full 8 hours before his 6 am wake up. It also means that I can stay late and pick up more hours. Customer Service training went smoothly and working as a customer service representative has been okay so far. Yesterday, I only asked maybe 20 questions --- today I probably asked ten or under. Improvement, yes?

Today (Saturday) Jared and I are going to get Chinese food after he gets off of work. Tomorrow is our 2nd Anniversary, but I don't think we're doing anything. Tuesday we're going to Swiss Colony in Monroe and stocking up of sweets and treats. Next weekend is Mineral Point Fall Art Tour.

I know I said we were going to go to Chicago last weekend, but that ended up not happening. We decided it'd be less costly to go to Galena Saturday and have a dinner in Dubuque Monday instead. This is a bulleted list of what I have to say about that:

• Gorgonzola is awful if not used in moderation.
• Sushi is better in Chicago than Galena, but we might try Taiko in Dubuque.
• L May is not that great... actually it's not that good. I cook better salmon, and serving dry salmon on sweet potatoes does not an interesting flavor make.
• Jelly Beans were the best meal I had out of the weekend.
• Pesto from the Galena Cannery is awful on pasta, but excellent on crackers.

We also saw Easy A. All I have to say is that the movie was more of a whimper than a shout, and that Stanley Tucci plays an amazing dad. He even had Jared laughing.

Old Photo

My Aunt Leigh just posted this on Facebook. It's one of the best photos of me... ever.