Timeline: What I Want to be When I Grow Up

When we were out at the cottage for July 4th, Jared's dad said that when he was young he wanted to be a hotel manager. I thought this was very strange. And it was made even stranger, because his current job trumps hotel manager by far. I have always had a hard time with goals and aspirations, but I've always had a dream job. This will be a short timeline of all the dream jobs I have had with a short blurb about them.

Robot: 1992-Present

When I was a young warthog girl, my mother would send me to Little Lighthouse Day Care. I have fond childhood memories of faking to nap, starting a battle of the sexes that resulted in tears, and an attention-grabbing tale of kicking a boy firmly between the legs. During this time, I insisted on wearing a pink windbreaker that was so tight I couldn't bend my arms. Given this uncomfortable position, I had to make an important decision: penguin or robot. From that day on, I have loved these metal men. I dance the robot; I drink from a robot bottle; I cheer on the Cylons.

Astronaut: 1996-1998
I've never been too interested in space. I've always been very interested in a zero gravity environment and awesome reflective helmets. My obvious career path was to be an Astronaut. Now, I just want to go in one of those vertical wind tunnels. This seems like a much better choice than being the best of the best and training for years to drink tang with chimps. --- I wonder where I'd need to go to just jump right in and drink tang with chimps.

Acrobat: 1999-2001
My mom hung ropes in our tree in the backyard. My friend Katie and I would swing from rope to rope accumulating blisters and knee scrapes. We were training to be in a travelling circus. I wanted to swing from high ropes over a safety net and ride an elephant in my off hours... or possibly play poker with the bears that ride unicycles.

Psychologist: 2003-2006
As an adolescent, I was very troubled. I wanted to become a psychologist to figure out what was wrong with me. It turns out that college provides those services for free, so I didn't need to put in all the leg work.

PR Representative: 2006
My major freshman year was business. I didn't want a business degree, but that's what my step-dad wanted for me. I thought I would become a PR Representative or a Marketing Researcher to incorporate both my interest in Psychology and Art

Art Teacher: 2008
When I figured out that I no longer lived with my parents and was free to do whatever I pleased, I switched my major to Art Education. I like kids. I like art. This could be a match! Then, I visited high school campuses, and hated it. I felt like kids took art as a blow off class, and teachers gave high marks out of obligation. I'm not a very good bureaucratic.

Artist: 2008-2009
I switched majors again to studio art. I enjoyed the classes more, but burnt out after a year of class 8 am to 5 pm and staying until 3 am to work on not sucking. I became more lax with my studies my senior year and realized that it was very unlikely for me to make it as an artist. I had no drive and no passion to produce.

Social Worker: 2009-2010
I was done with my art degree a year early, but didn't want to graduate at 20. I began taking psychology and women's studies classes. I was very interested in becoming a social worker... until I took a class that told me it was dangerous, stressful and didn't pay well. I'll pass.

Awesome: 1988-Present

What I Can Do When I Finally Find Employment

Preparing for the life you will have before you've even had an interview for a job is all the rage right now. In the spirit of poultry economics, I am going to list out all the amazing things I can do once I'm awesomely employed.

• Continue volunteering during the evenings at Jabbok Family Services
• Move to a bigger apartment (possibly the adorable ones one block off from here)
• Go to Disney World
• Adopt a corgi
• Feast on raspberries whenever I darn well please
• Shop without a ton of guilt
• Pay off credit card debt
• Get fat off of baklava
• Spoil Jared rotten with all the PS3 games he can shake a controller at
• Go to a concert (Deathcab will be here late August)
• Network with coworkers 
• Buy a Halloween costume
• Get a bus pass (yay!)
• Take dance classes
• Leap tall buildings in a single bound 
• Go three rounds with Rocky Balboa
• Party like it's 1999
• Live a lush life of affluence
• Spend my invisi-children's college funds on gambling and booze
• Buy myself a little something ... like a watch, a necklace... or a yacht
• Bring powdered wigs back into fashion 
• Use all that commute time on the bus to read Hunger Games and Harry Potter
• Replace that PS3 controller Jared broke from all that shaking
• Own a replica of a mastodon, or dig up a frozen one and reanimate it
• Use reanimated mastodon as primary transportation
• Eat a lot of pizza
• Have name legally changed to "Your Majesty"
• Hang out with Beyoncé
• Become a one-hit wonder
• Write a list that goes on far too long
• Challenge Katie Binning to a gun show
• Block out the sun, Mr. Burns style
• Create a super hero costume that functions in everyday life
• Create insane platform and run for Republican office
• Learn to love Cheetos

The employed care not for your horse power.

Sorry to all those searching for a gif of a corgi in a mastodon costume eating Cheetos.

My Ultimate Sales Pitch to Move to My Neighborhood

I was raised to harbor a stoic personality; I tend to be happy with whatever I can get/have. When we were looking to move to Minneapolis, I based where we were living off of Internet suggestions to avoid anything that started with Brooklyn and my need to live as cheaply as possible. We looked around the south side of Minneapolis and visited 5 different complexes. We lucked out in location and wound up in a great neighborhood. Our apartment is on the east side of the Whittier neighborhood which is also called the "International Neighborhood." My neighborhood is artsy with great restaurants and affordable living. It's the trifecta of urban life.

My apartment is less than a block from MIA, MCAD, Fallout Arts Initiative and the Children's Theatre Company. This means not only can I see art for free any time I feel the itch, there are also great murals and little artsy bits around the neighborhood. (Below are a few murals and whatnot from the neighborhood. There are a lot more.)

There is also a fantastic pizza place called Slice of New York just a few blocks away. You can get a huge, face-sized slice and a chunk of baklava for around $6.00 (depending on what type of pizza). I like the guy who works behind the counter too. He talks to you like he knows you, which is refreshing. A lot of people in food services seem to hate people.

There is also Hibachi Buffet down the street, but they already got a full post out of me.

I'm a huge fan of Jabbok Family Services, where I volunteer. Jabbok offers daycare, an after school program, and a summer program to neighborhood families at ridiculously reasonable prices. (It costs $0.50 an hour per family for daycare.) Jabbok has a small full-time staff and a few part-timers. The program has a large volunteer base of people passionate about people.

There are wonderful shopping opportunities in The Whittier Neighborhood. Buffalo Exchange is a nation-wide thrift store that carries a large range of brandname clothing. (I purchased True Religion jeans for $20.00.) Blacklist Vintage is closer to a specialty store. They carry vintage clothing sorted by waist size. It makes finding interesting clothing a little bit easier, because you aren't forced to juggle sizes. Lost and Found is another thrift store off of Nicollet. They carry both vintage pieces as well as modern pieces. Lost and Found is worth a visit just to check out the interior mural by a local artist.

Whittier is home to several great parks. I especially like Whittier Park and Clinton Field for child-friendly parks. Whittier Park has a wading pool which is great for kids who are not strong swimmers.

Music stores in my neighborhood include the Electric Fetus, Treehouse Records. Electric Fetus has a full-sized store front that is very organized. There is a gift shop with clothing, jewelry, gifts and music paraphernalia. Treehouse Records is a smaller store that is owner operated. It has better prices on older records, but you better be in the mood to dig.

Here are more photos of my neighborhood:

Holley Sweeps: Week 2

Wishing penny is holding a giveaway for a Costa Farms cactus or succulent.
Swell Swag is giving away a handbag from Chocolate New York. And, it's beautiful! I love the detailing and the neutral color.
Laughing Lindsay is having a giveaway of a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream prize pack. I really want that tie-dye t-shirt. Can we say adorable and delicious?
Sweeps4Bloggers is having a Giveaway of a $135 Aroma Naturals Giant Mosaic Candle!

Swell Swag is holding a Giveaway of a Parazul classic handbag and Sweet + Lush jewelry.

Gathering My Roses is giving away Corso Como Ballasox.
Leslie Loves Veggies is having a giveaway of beautiful Michael Simon apparel!
Sweeps4Bloggers is holding a Giveaway of Dr Remedy's nail polish!

Review: Hibachi Buffet v Teppanyaki Buffet

Within the Powderhorn neighborhood in Minneapolis there are two buffets that offer fresh sushi. We have been to Hibachi Buffet on three different occasions. We went to Teppanyaki Buffet just this week. Instead of giving two separate reviews, I am going to just compare and contrast the two.

Hibachi Buffet has more flavorful crawdads, but Teppanyaki Buffet has better timed mussels. Hibachi Buffet has more flavorful sushi, but Teppanyaki Buffet has a better variety of sushi. Both places have plenty of seating, their own parking and are directly off of Lake St. Teppanyaki is very near to a Savers, so you can thrift shop then stuff yourself. Hibachi is a more walkable distance from our home. Hibachi Buffet has soft-serve ice cream, and Teppanyaki Buffet has several different flavors of scoopable ice cream with toppings. Both have a made to order cook station (one offering Hibachi the other offering Teppanyaki).

Although Teppanyaki Buffet carries a variety of American foods and different sorts of ice cream, I prefer Hibachi Buffet. A big part of this is because Hibachi Buffet's food is better than their atmosphere. Teppanyaki Buffet had more bland food with a ridiculously decorated venue. They had colored lighting and huge chandeliers. Something about the atmosphere being more impressive than the food is off putting. Also, I feel like the hostess at Teppanyaki hates her job.

And, there it is: Hibachi Buffet is the winner. K.O.

Holley Sweeps

I've had two days off from my summer program, because of the severe heat. This means I've been couped up indoors for more than 48 hours! To keep busy, I'm entering online sweepstakes. I think it's pretty awesome, and from filling out resumes over the last two months, I feel like I'm qualified to fill out an entry form. Here I will list a few of the blog sweepstakes that I have entered and a little about each one.

Green XC is holding a Limited Edition Stones and Bones Bracelet Giveaway at their blog. I really love the styling of the skull bracelets.
wearing my big girl pants is having a My Olivia Jewelry Giveaway featuring pretty, simple wrap bracelets.
An Uncommon Thread is holding a The Beautiful Cristina Scarf Giveaway from Latin Threads Trading Co. The scarves are handmade and beautiful.
Sweeps4Bloggers is giving away a PonyUp! Kentucky Handbag. The bags are very cool and feature a customized name plate.
Leslie Loves Veggies is holding two separate giveaways: One for a NAVOH Handbag, and another for a VIETA Handbag. Both of which are beautiful and affordable.
Marvelous Mommy is giving away Luscious Metals Jewelry which can be inscribed and personalized.
Confessions of an Over-worked Mom is having a giveaway of Tuita USA products. I really love the flamingo handbag.
Natural Mama is giving away a pair of Aetrex Sandals! They look comfortable and supportive.
The Nurse Mommy is holding a giveaway of Nellie's Natural Laundry Soda.
Susan's Disney Family is giving away Prem Soaps and a salt scrub and a lip balm!
Win Lose or Blog is holding a giveaway for Grateful Body Skin Care (all natural, organic, vegan products!)

I entered a bunch of sweepstakes over Facebook yesterday. Fingers crossed!

Personalized Ringtones

As previously mentioned, I am not a smartphone gal. However I do love my phone, because it is pretty and functional. Plus, I don't pay for a ton of apps that I might if I had the accessibility of a smartphone. I do like to have fun ringtones for my phone. Instead of purchasing ringtones like I usually do, this time I just edited down songs I already have on my computer. I used this handy Lifehacker guide, created my own tones, and set them to my nearest and dearest.

Short entry is short because of all kinds of copyright infringement for commercial use.

Summer Heat Is So 2010

The program director of the youth center I volunteer at called early today to let me know that we won't be having program Monday or possibly even Tuesday. Why? It's flippin' hot! The heat index is over 100, and my pores are sweating from their pores. It greatly limits what I can do outdoors. Which is sad, because I was hoping to photo-document my post on all the great places in my neighborhood. That will have to wait.

We ran to the store and swooped up ingredients for this week's meals. We're going veg heavy with a thick stew and chili. By pumping up the volume of vegetables within the stew/chili, we can take a lot of guess work out of daily intake. We made a minestrone with onions, zucchini, carrots and celery. I added Italian sausage to increase the protein. The chili we made was pretty basic; it has black and kidney beans, ground turkey, green peppers, jalapenos and a whole habanero (Rainbow didn't have cayenne peppers.). The minestrone turned out well, and we ate some for dinner. I'll see how the chili is in the morning. I want to limit my baklava outings, so I made pumpkin bread. It's a good break from the new recipes I have been trying that have ended up pretty flavorless.

Hello, Cowboy.

Last night, I went out to Gay 90s with Christina from the youth center. It was a lot of fun, and not at all like Platteville. At Platteville, you'd go to the only dance club and it'd either be dead or so stuffed with bodies people are piled atop one another. 90s had more than one story, several different bars and dance floors... and an ongoing drag show! There was a go-go dancer dressed like Conan the Barbarian. Additionally, there was a very attractive cowboy and a man wearing Rolling Stone's underoos. The drinks weren't much more expensive than drinks at Platteville.

It was very interesting how busy the streets were downtown. The humidity was high and there was a lot of construction from the east. But, I think the ending Twins game as well as several shows ending added to the traffic most of all. All the traffic made Christina's bus really late, and Jared traffic crazy. Along the streets, there were tons of not so fit ladies in not so covering outfits. And, I saw two people throw up. That's two more people besides myself that I have seen throw up in... well a very long time.

I'm not stressing out about finding a job right now. Before, I was pretty racked with guilt... Jared is paying a lot of the bills, and what savings I had is pretty much gone. The situation isn't too terrible, because we live pretty cheaply, and Jared's salary is stretching well enough. Right now, I'm kindly distracted by my volunteer program. I hope I find a job in August! I really don't want to go back to spending everyday in my living room searching the same websites day after day.

Funny tidbit: getting dressed this morning, I realized that my skirt was older than most of the children who participate at the youth center. Sad? I don't think so! Hurray for fitting into clothes I've had for eight years. Good for me.

What to Do When You’re Unemployed

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to service your community, but I want to hit on the more selfish reasons to volunteer:

1. You'll get to meet new people.
2. You'll get out of the prison that becomes your living room.
3. Volunteering provides some sort of schedule to stick to, thereby, limiting the number of late afternoon wakings.
4. Giving your time when you have no money is a great way to feel some kind of purpose.

Spend More Time Outdoors

Working on your tan provides Vitamin D and scares away the debt depression. You can also take this time to prioritize getting in shape. The world can be your gym! Look up what services are offered by public parks in your area. Find hiking and biking trails near you.

Trade in Traditional Cable for Netflix

Cable can run up a bill over $50.00 a month. Netflix instant streaming is $7.99 a month. Ditching traditional cable free up some cash flow. And, as a bonus, with Netflix you watch what you want when you want to. You can take an afternoon to watch an entire season of Veronica Mars, or fill up on Mel Brooks movies.

Don't Carry Cash

After I turned 18 and opened my first bank account, I stopped carrying cash on me. My Gram thinks this is a bad idea and that I should have "emergency" money on me just in case. Personally, I don't trust myself to believe an adorable widget on sale isn't an emergency. So, I don't carry cash (or most of the time any sort of money). If you don't carry money, you cannot spend money. Ergo, your savings are left to pay ever surmounting bills.

Invest in Family and Friends

Now that you have free time, you can catch up with old pals and build a relationship with your mom that you might not have had before. Make a point to speak to the people you value in your life on a regular basis. I feel that the people who care most about us are neglected under the pretense that they'll always be there.

30 Future Blog Topics

I hate being stumped, and I'm not updating this blog as often as I would like. I'm compiling a list of blog topics to cover. I am avoiding negative topics the best I can. I think a big part of not updating is that my life isn't moving forward fast enough to be vicariously exciting. I'm really enjoying my time volunteering, but my days aren't too inspiring.

1. Why I Have Only 136 Friends
2. My Ultimate Sales Pitch to Move to My Neighborhood
3. How I Plan to Save the World (Or at Least a Small Part of It)
4. Top 5: Facebook Edition
5. How to Work with Call-Center Customer Service
6. What to Do When You’re Broke
7. Topics Not to Blog About on a Public Website
8. Why I Wouldn’t Mind Joining a Cult
9. Weird Houses I Want to Live In
10. Things I Preach About but Don’t Actually Do
11. Top 5: Things You Can’t Price Point
12. Cheap Food I Love
13. What I Can Do When I Finally Find Employment
14. Top 5: Great Things About Being Unemployed
15. Timeline of What I Want(ed) to be When I Grow Up
16. If I Had a College Do-over
17. Top 5: Movies That Owe Me Time and Money
18. How to Spot a Troll
19. Assumptions Make an Ass Out of Those That Offer Advice
20. Pet Peeves: Truth-telling, Nay-saying, Lady-shaming and Tight Clothes
21. My Son Is Getting a Stove-top Play Set
22. Isolationism and Why I Don’t Talk About Politics
23. How to Recognize If an Argument Is Pointless
24. Tactics to Get Out of a Screaming Match
25. Top 5: Classes I Took in College
26. Why I Don’t Believe in Internet Anonymity
27. Your Actions > Your Adjectives
28. Scale of Candy Bars by Deliciousness
29. Halloween Costumes Ideas for Freezing Temps
30. How I Would Fight Vampires, Zombies, Werewolves

Top 5: Birthday Wishlist 2011

Unlike previous Top 5s, this one is in order of most wanted to less wanted. Keep in mind out of the billions of things I could ask for, this is my Top 5 so all these things are very much wanted.


Meaningful, Bill Paying Employment

In 2005, I received a phone call on my birthday offering me a job at Build-a-Bear. In 2010, I received a phone call the day before my birthday offering me a job at Swiss Colony. This year, I would like to receive a phone call on or near my birthday offering me a job. I'd like a job where I can work with kids, possibly kids and art.

I would be more than happy to be a secretary, given that I can wear cardigans and not blazers. I will accept anything that isn't retail, that will allow me to feed myself. Please.

Reliable Collapsible Transportation

I've been doing a lot of research on bicycles, because I now live in the nation's #1 biking city. Also, if I walk downtown one more time to window shop for hours, then my feet might need to be amputated. Stumps will not work well with my current wardrobe.
I decided on folding bikes for 5 reasons:

1. Folding bike seats and handlebars are more adjustable to height than "regular" bikes. Which means I can ride an adult sized bike instead of a kiddie one. 

1. This means there are no hard to understand frame sizes and tube heights. 

1. Folding bikes collapse into a more manageable size. Carrying the collapsed bike upstairs would be far easier than to lug a bike frame upstairs that is as long as I am tall. 

1. As a bonus, the small, collapsed frame would be easier to store in our small apartment.

1. If I choose to purchase a bicycle online, I can purchase a bicycle directly from the supplier and shipping costs are nominal.

I've done my research and have looked into three companies that supply collapsible bicycles. I have also considered affordability and will now list both the high-end and low-end folding bicycles I like best.
Citizen Bike supplies affordable folding bicycles. Their website is flashy and includes testimonials from happy customers. However, I have not found any online reviews on the bicycles outside of the company's website. This makes me very wary of purchasing a bicycle from Citizen Bike. Pictured below is the Barcelona ($399) and the Miami ($199) models.

Dahon is a trusted brand in folding bicycles. It seems that with a well known name, also comes a higher ticket price. I would very much like to own either bicycle below. If money wasn't such a concern, then I would without question purchase a Ciao! D5 ($899.95) or Boardwalk D7 ($658.00) pictured respectively. 

What I am considering buying for myself if I get a paying job in the near future is a Worksman Cycle folding bike. The simplicity of the company strikes me as a better choice than Citizen Bike and a more affordable choice than Dahon. The prices vary by number of gears. Although I would prefer a 3 Speed ($329.00), a single speed is more affordable ($269.00). Either would look like this, only electric blue. Red paint is an additional $15.00, and if I'm paying extra for paint I'm going with Safety Yellow for the win.

Very Irish Weekend

I love Irish Fest. I want to go on a night Gaelic Storm is playing and to stay the whole day from morning to midnight. I would like $100.00 in spending money. I would also like to eat noodles for lunch before we get going to Milwaukee. 

Loyal, Dwarfed Dog

I would like a medium sized, cylinder shaped dog with short, stubby legs. I would like either a Basset Hound or Pembroke Welsh Corgi.

More Effective Means of Time Travel

My digital camera right now was purchased in 2007. It works just fine, and there is no "real" reason to replace it. However, I hate it. It's one of the worst purchases I've made so far. It takes too long to focus, so the pictures never turn out right. And, the portrait setting is a joke; the flash is way too bright. Needless to say, I rarely use my camera.

I would like a Canon PowerShot that is ultra-compact.

A Very Fantasy Fluff Piece

David Boreanaz as Angel in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and self-titled spin-off Angel was the Taylor Lautner of his generation. I really don't have empirical, matter-of-fact evidence about this. But, this is my blog, and I can say whatever I want.

Angel (aka Angelous) was a hottie bo-body, two-hundred year old vampire with an angelic face, square jaw and a six pack that puts all existing, human abs to shame. He killed this one Romani chick and was sentenced to suffering the rest of existence with a soul (a problem many people can relate to.) Previously, he was a full-on blood sucking, tribe destroying ANIMAL. For the sake of Science, here is a photo of his abs... and the rest of him.

ME-OW

Admittedly, I don't know much about the character Taylor Lautner plays in these Twilight movies. Mostly, because it takes all of my paying attention brain cells to stop my jaw from dislocating and my tongue pouring out of my mouth. Proudly, I can tell you that sometimes he morphs into a wolf sometimes. I know this, because dogs without shirts don't make me subtract 1992 from the current year. And I have never looked up a shirt-less wolf's age on IMDB. Although, sometimes I wonder how old Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life is.... but that's a wallaby and very off topic. Back to the subject at hand:

WTF Hormones!?

Given a little online research, I have found that Lautner and his starring role Jacob are both into older women. And, given the very obvious that Angel is a 200 year old vampire that never ages and digs high school chicks, I think I can say he's into younger ladies. I think I fall within the age spectrum of both Angel and Jacob.

Graphically, it doesn't make sense. Graphs can't stop true lust.

Now... to work on being moody and my pre-attack puns.